Lions & Lionesses!
Missing workouts and stuffing your face with cupcakes and wine will certainly have some negative side effects. When life gets tough, we all have coping mechanisms – actions that cause us to feel safe and comforted. Some humans go for a run and others get shit faced drunk. When we are in a fear-based state, most of us do dumb things. Things that hurt us and sometimes others. Once the fear is gone, regret usually sets in. All regret is born of a fear-based state.
So wouldn’t make sense to have a system for dealing with these negative states?
Of course, it is a brilliant idea. I can attest to its importance. Back in the day, I would get super grumpy when I didn’t eat. Being “hangry” is no excuse to treat others poorly. That’s what one of my close friends told me and it jolted me to the core. Right then and there I decided that I will not allow anything to put me into that place. I became determined to master my emotions. Before I go any further, I must admit that this process is never-ending and it requires a lot of energy. However, it is beyond worth it.
At every moment, our emotions determine whether we are in heaven or in hell.
Today, I want to share with you a simple “thinking process” that I used and have shared with many clients to pivot out of feeling funky.
When you ask your brain a question it always answers it. That’s how it works. So ask a question to redirect your negative thoughts into a more beneficial direction. That’s the RALL Process.
The R.A.L.L. Process
R is for RESPECT: What could I RESPECT about this person or situation?
A is for APPRECIATE: What could I APPRECIATE about this person or situation?
L is for LAUGH: What could be FUNNY about this? Maybe not now but years from now?
L is for LEARN: What could I LEARN from this moment?
At first, you may need to remove yourself from the situation or the person. Go for a walk or do something that is non-destructive. In other words, don’t walk to a bar or ice cream parlor and go nuts. Center yourself and ask the 4 questions. I recommend writing them down or recording your answers. Reviewing these notes down the road is eye opening. You begin to see yourself as you are and not as you “think”. You begin to understand yourself and why you behave the way you do. From this perspective of awareness and honesty, we can decide to improve ourselves. After all, life is all about self-mastery. We are all here to learn and grow and become more.
Unfortunately, no one ever teaches us this stuff in school so we must go on our own quest of self-mastery. If you are a huge nerd like me then it’s a fun ride. Just see yourself and others through kind eyes. Each day focus on filling up your own cup so that you have more to give to the world.
Train, Eat Healthy, Sleep Well, Drink Clean Water, Read, Learn, Laugh A LOT, Joyfully Help Others and as Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
You got this, my friend.
Remember you are greater than any challenge that stands before you.
Billy Beck III “BB3”